Read Mo’ Ho’!

Stories: published, to be published, submitted, in progress and unfinished.

Available

When Dave Pawlicki checks into the ER of Bloom Memorial Hospital following an embarrassing trauma, he soon finds out why his Mama told him not to come to the place with the greasy black linoleum floors.

Necrotic Tissue‘s “Malpractice: An Anthology of Hospital Horror”

Released March 2009 — buy it! Some great stories.

El Dorado

The Crowbar Man, a coke dealer just released from prison, returns to the fringe of the Everglades for something he left behind. He finds more than he bargains for, as one of the narco-skeletons in his closet returns from the dead, with the help of a deceased osteopathic surgeon known as “The Handyman.”

Necrotic Tissue July 2009 (First print issue of Necrotic Tissue.)

Honorable Mention in the Chizine 14th Annual Short Story Contest, 2008.

Smoked

Brush fires in the Everglades release things much worse than thick smoke into the air — the spirits of the pissed-off dead, hallu-carcinogenic WMD from the cold war and plant-based daddy parts. Throw in a dead hooker in the trunk, a legless Highway Patrol trooper and an army of zombie roadkill and yew gotcherself some Grade-A grindhouse… the HoJay Way!

To be published in 2010 by Bucket ‘O’ Guts Press as a chapbook.

Tracks

Mixing easy access to railroad tracks with a boy’s obsession with flatness leads to interesting results.  100-word flash fiction.

Necrotic Tissue (ezine) October 2008 (Register at Necrotic Tissue to receive link to latest issue.)

The Lizard Pit

Theo Trout, third-rate undertaker, moves to the Florida Keys and finds that he needs to modify his business model to survive in a competitive market. In the Everglades, a place with a long history as a “mortuary of convenience,” he encounters a homicidal pre-Columbian cloud-ghost that takes the form of one of his clients… with a few modifications. A relationship blossoms, a trip to the Frogtown Motor Hotel doesn’t quite work out as planned and things get… messy. Really, really messy.

Well-Told Tales (podcast WTT 32) June 2008 — voice actor Steven Anderson does a kickass job on this. Check it out!

Necrotic Tissue (ezine) January 2008 (premiere issue) Download free issue as .pdf file

That Smell

A kid racing his Camaro on a Mississippi back road learns that drinking and driving go together like rock stars and plane crashes when he rear-ends a tanker truck driven by a dude with an amazing resemblance to a dead front man.

Subatomic Books — “One Step Beyond” (anthology) released September 2008

The Sawing of the Yule Log

Santa stops for an unscheduled stop at a suburban bungalow. Seems that an earlier encounter with a fruitcake has slowed down his schedule — in more ways than one. Fortunately, help is just a phone call away. (Note: written under pseudonym.)

Red Pulp Underground (ezine) December 2007 issue Link to archive

Coming soon… maybe…

Baby Teeth (in submissionland)

Georgie uncovers horrors far worse than long division when he begins fifth grade at Chili Gulch Elementary School, and learns that when the local Tooth Fairy comes a-calling it’s better to give than to receive… or the price will be more than any kid can pay.

Red Tide (in submissionland)

The Cthulhu thing gets the full Ho’ treatment, as the Suit, a businessman out on an excursion from his hotel, journeys across the Glades to meet the girl of his aquatic dreams.  He knows he has to pay, but the price may be steeper than he expects.

Mummies of the Caribbean

The only story I’m aware of that features a massacre at a baby shower. One bad mummy duppy. For an upcoming themed anthology.

Karl and Madelyn

A re-telling of Hansel and Gretel — but this time it’s the old folks that are led out into the wilderness. A witch story requested for an upcoming anthology.

Symphorophilia (second draft)

Ronnie the Retard isn’t really retarded, but he really loves Carly, the seven-fingered pipe-bomber of Ronald Reagan High. Will his prepubescent love muscle be up to the task? Will her explosive libido blow up in his face? Will anybody ever publish this weird-ass shit?

Separation Anxiety (looking for a home)

A little romantic absurdity in which the true center of human perception is revealed… and temporarily relocated. (It’s a fucked up little story that I’m very fond of that’s proving to be a tough sell. If Kafka wrote for National Lampoon in the early 1970s, it may have come out like this.)

The Missionary Strain (in progress)

A Norwegian religious sect settles in South Florida and is taken over by… well, let’s just say they came from a helluva lot farther away than Norway. Some say that a Savior is coming. But is parthenogenesis as good as immaculate conception? Have they found a new way of begatting?  Imagine “The Thing” set in Lake Wobegon.

Pecked (in progress)

A smuggler of endangered species becomes endangered himself when he finds himself in the middle of an ecoterror plot involving the Cuban government, a crooked congressmen, and some bioengineered eyeball-seeking woodpeckers with a hostile attitude. And, of course, a beautiful ornithologist. Pure pulp.

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